Ask Kimbers!

My sack hath been running over recently and I have had to extract just a small number of the problems experienced within OTCC.

Dear Kimbers,

I have recently enjoyed the companionship of my team mates on a canny tour to the north-east. I am however a little uneased by the way in which breakfast was delivered on the last day. It was not up to the usual standard that I am accustomed to. I found the bacon to be a little underdone and the eggs were a little too runny for my liking. The copious amount of sauce that accompanied the aforementioned repast was not exactly adorning the plate. I was so alarmed that I had to leave the establishment post haste and I regret that I did not leave a tip. Do you have one for me? G.C.

Dear G.C. Yes I have a tip for you! Have cornflakes next time, they only come with milk! Kimbers.

Dear Kimbers, What do blue transits and Lord Lucan have in common? It is a question I was asked last week. S.S.

Dear S.S. They quickly disappear, never to return, in times of high emotion! (So, I’m lead to believe! )Kimbers

 

Dear Kimbers, I have this strange urge to fondle bat handles and caress them lovingly at every oppportunity and exclaim loudly when my hands cannot grip them tightly. Do I have a problem? P.H.

Dear P.H. Yes, you do. I would suggest however that you do what everyone else does instead. It is an old wives tale that it makes you go blind. However the person you are gripping may have tears in their eyes. It may not be pain though! Kimbers.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH (NO 7)

       VDM                       Lurch The Butler

Could Lurch wield the willow like our man! I’ll let you be the judge.

PRIDE IN OTCC JUNIORS

This week I received an e-mail which stated that in Northamptonshire there are two centres of excellence in schools cricket. Northampton School for Boys and Oundle & King’s Cliffe Middle. This was really gratifying as ten years ago cricket was not high on the agenda at the latter. Now we play more matches across our age groups than most in the state sector and in the last four years have contested five county finals against N.S.B. On a couple of occasions we have secured wins and this season the Year 7 team has just made the County Final and guess who we play…….. N.S.B. The Year 8 team are in the county semi-final against NSB in a couple of days time.

This season a cricket league has been established by the county split into two sections with six teams in each section. The Fred Trueman League has also been run in neighbouring counties.

Yesterday the winners of the West section, Sponne School played the winners of the East Section, Oundle & King’s Cliffe Middle. Both teams reached the final undefeated. The final had been scheduled for the County Ground on July 9th but due to the British weather- was postponed and the Final was finally played at Great Oakley Cricket Club.

This particular Oundle & King’s Cliffe Team have played together since they were foetuses (well it feels like it!) and the way in which they play suggests they have confidence in each others ability. Sponne School batted first, and OKCMS by doing the basics right found themselves chasing 81 runs to win.

Telling George Davies to bat through and we would win was about the only thing I could think of telling them. Looking at the batting order I knew we batted to at least 7. Ben Milborne has been Captain this Year simply because he has grown up, Peter Foster & Jonathan Dalley have also shown they can bat. What I didn’t expect was the way in which they would bat. George actually listened! He never looked like getting out and ably assisted by Patrick Croker who is a very competent player (Brigstock.C.C.) and Peter Foster the runs kept coming.

Winning by 9 wkts was fantastic. Winning, with what was a mature performance beyond their years, was one of the proudest moments in 20 years teaching. There are many reasons why success continues at OKCMS on the cricket field. The input of Merwe, Martin and others who have supported cricket at the school, the parents who follow their children and have taken them all over the county. The Club and their coachng programme over the years.

Above all though it’s about the boys. This team which finally won a title should have won two previously, but have had to continue to work at the game. They deserve this and they also deserve to win the County Cup too. OTCC boys who played : Ben Milborne (Capt), George Davies, Peter Foster, Jonathan Dalley, Toby Snelling, Ben Groom. The others were Patrick Croker (Brigstock) Bradley Freeman, Matt Sewell & Daniel Hauck (Kings Cliffe).

Man of the Match: George Davies 29.n.o batting through to secure the win. Although they were all fantastic!

Ask Kimbers!

Dear Kimbers,

I am finding that playing a man’s game is becoming increasingly more physical as I get older. I ache in places I didn’t exxpect to ache in and I’m also finding that my breast area becomes sore and throbbing after physical exertion. I noticed in last week’s game I no longer enjoy a man on top of me! Is there something wrong with me, or am I just being too sensitive! P.H.

Dear P.H.,

Physical exertion keeps you fit and healthy, I feel however, that perhaps you need to realise that the enjoyment you once had does not always last. In fact there will be times when more than your chest area will ache and throb. If this occurs then don’t be too alarmed, in fact, rejoice as it means the fruits of your labours are paying off and you will be fitter for it. I enclose an item of clothing that may well help in alleviating the physical aches that you describe. Chin up! Kimbers.

 Available from all good retail outlets!

ASK KIMBERS!

Welcome to my first bulging sack of the season. I’ve been saving it up and would like to now issue forth with my first instalment.

Dear Kimbers, (June 2008)

I have been wondering lately why it is I have this sudden urge to don a uniform and saunter jauntily to the odd game of cricket. I have not really had any real fetish before and wonder if it is a sign of an upcoming crisis in my life. Please help me as I don’t know what to do.

Yours desperately. A.B.

Dear A.B.  Having thought carefully about your problem I have come to the conclusion that you must ditch the uniform before you startle some poor unfortunate. If this urge continues I suggest one of two solutions. The first is that if you have the urge again, make sure you leave your truncheon at home as this could arose even more suspicions. Secondly, if you must wear a uniform ;cricket whites may be a more subtle and less obtrusive outfit to wear to the ground. I hope this answers your predicament.

Kimbers.

Dear Kimbers, (May 2008)

The recent rise in fuel prices has meant a curtailing of my nocturnal habits and a sharp decrease in the number of people using my cab company. How do you think I can re-establish the social life I once had?

G.C.

Dear G.C,

With regard to your nocturnal habits, I’m reliably informed that they have not been curtailed but channeled in a completely different direction? Namely, the Glapthorn Road! Secondly, the decrease in your Cab usage would be down to your best customer relocating to Nottingham! You see, Kimbers is all ears and all eyes! Nothing escapes my inner eye!

Kimbers

Dear Kimbers,(April 2008)

Having recently arrived in England I really need to know what the season has in store for me and whether I will fit in at Oundle Town. With your obvious clairvoyant ability I would very much like your forecast.

MvdM.

Dear MvdM,

Do not be dis-heartened. I see a very profitable May & June with the bat and by mid-June you will have surpassed 700 runs. The only dampener on the horizon may be your slight inability to keep up in rounds with a Hobbit, Rafa and the Tax Dodging Student. Oh by the way Happy Birthday for June 12th!

Kimbers

Where will you find him?

At the YMCA!

Young Man, You don’t want to bend down

I said ‘Young Man’ Be aware round the ground

Young Man, there’s a place you can go

BUT NOT WITH THIS GUY!

Phoenix from the Ashes!

Ten Years ago the illustrious Oundle Town publication the Badger Bulletin recruited an agony aunt and a clairvoyant. This publication has been seeking two new members of the team and we now have a new Agony column known as ‘ASK KIMBERS!’ and a new Doom & Gloom merchant called P.A. Predicts. Keep your eyes peeled for these nes items!

Beat this!

Sat April 26th 63 v Bowden, Sun April 27th 103 n.o. v Perkins

Sat May 3rd 30 v Long Buckby , Sun May 4th No Game

Sat May 10th 138 v Podington, Sun May 11th 23 v Wisbech

Sat May 17th Abandoned, Sun May 18th No game

Sat May 24th 94 n.o.v Rushden, Sun May 25th Abandoned. Mon May 26th 129v Netts

Coming Soon:

Horton House 2nd XI!

Some start to the season. KEEP GOING MARTIN!

SUPER SATURDAY

Saturday May 24th was the day OTCC kicked started the season. Prior to the rains of Sunday and Monday it was always going to be an important weekend for the club to set down markers for the Season.

The 1st XI have struggled to bowl out sides so far this season; always looking comfortable with the bat the Town needed to get a result under it’s belt and the fact that it was done in emphatic style highlights the potential in this side. Jimmy Chambers side won by 10 wickets with both Martin Van der Merwe and Neil ‘Frodo’ Fox (On his 20th birthday) scoring 94 n.o and 52 n.o. respectively to cement a victory. Paul ‘Shambles’ Campbell took 4 wickets and afterwards dedicated his spell of bowling to his little friends birthday saying,

 ‘I’m a penniless student so I couldn’t buy him a present. The least I could do was bowl out their side to give him the opportunity to score a 50′  The mark of a noble and tax dodging friend!

I am now starting to feel old when I see a Saturday 1st XI with 8 players that have passed through school whilst I have taught there! But, yet again it highlights how successful the policy of OTCC is. The acquisition of Martin Van der Merwe this season is proving a revelation on all fronts. His contribution on the field has been first class already scoring 460 runs with 2 centuries. Off the field he is making an equally admirable contribution to the junior and senior coaching in the club.

Now in 6th position in Div 3 there will be a concerted push for the summit.

The development 3rd XI is proving a huge success giving a number of youngsters the opportunity to experience League cricket. This weekend saw them beat Kibworth 4ths by 6 wickets with what was a very young side, 7 under 16 and 3 of those under 13. It was the Oldies however who provided the bulk of the runs Adrian Cade & Nick Groom scoring 62 & 35 repectively. However, a team is only successful when they all contribute in the field and by all accounts this was a team performance. Up the 3rds!

Finally the triumverate of victories on Saturday was completed by the 2nds with a superb team performance and some excellent captaincy from Shaun Smalley. All I will say is the Oldies again did it with the bat, but the youngsters did it with the ball. Up the 2nd’s!

SEPARATED AT BIRTH NO 6!

Apparently Steven Spielberg is hoping to make a sequel in 2009. I have heard that Ross is in the frame for a part, but they are also looking for another Weasley in the next Harry Potter film! No end to this lad’s talent.