Welcome to my first bulging sack of the season. I’ve been saving it up and would like to now issue forth with my first instalment.
Dear Kimbers, (June 2008)
I have been wondering lately why it is I have this sudden urge to don a uniform and saunter jauntily to the odd game of cricket. I have not really had any real fetish before and wonder if it is a sign of an upcoming crisis in my life. Please help me as I don’t know what to do.
Yours desperately. A.B.
Dear A.B. Having thought carefully about your problem I have come to the conclusion that you must ditch the uniform before you startle some poor unfortunate. If this urge continues I suggest one of two solutions. The first is that if you have the urge again, make sure you leave your truncheon at home as this could arose even more suspicions. Secondly, if you must wear a uniform ;cricket whites may be a more subtle and less obtrusive outfit to wear to the ground. I hope this answers your predicament.
Dear Kimbers, (May 2008)
The recent rise in fuel prices has meant a curtailing of my nocturnal habits and a sharp decrease in the number of people using my cab company. How do you think I can re-establish the social life I once had?
With regard to your nocturnal habits, I’m reliably informed that they have not been curtailed but channeled in a completely different direction? Namely, the Glapthorn Road! Secondly, the decrease in your Cab usage would be down to your best customer relocating to Nottingham! You see, Kimbers is all ears and all eyes! Nothing escapes my inner eye!
Dear Kimbers,(April 2008)
Having recently arrived in England I really need to know what the season has in store for me and whether I will fit in at Oundle Town. With your obvious clairvoyant ability I would very much like your forecast.
Do not be dis-heartened. I see a very profitable May & June with the bat and by mid-June you will have surpassed 700 runs. The only dampener on the horizon may be your slight inability to keep up in rounds with a Hobbit, Rafa and the Tax Dodging Student. Oh by the way Happy Birthday for June 12th!